Game 283 - Chicago Whitesox at New York Yankees

September 24 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

Let's start with another ridiculous YES scouting report:

* Chicago's been having trouble scoring runs? OK. That's fine.
* They are 5-15 all-time at the new Yankee Stadium? Alright, that's more a fact, but still, it just means the scouting report on the Whitesox is they aren't very good in NY.
* The franchise just won its 9,000th game? NOT EVEN CLOSE TO A SCOUTING REPORT.

Hope

Here's something Michael Kay said in the second inning:

"I hope that a lot of kids still play Strat-O-Matic."

The last time Michael Kay met a kid must've been in 1988 because there's no other reason for him to say something that absurd.

And maybe a few kids play Strat-O-Matic, meaning 17.

A LOT?!

Starting Friday, September 25 I'm going to ask as many kids as I can if they've ever heard of Strat-O-Matic. My findings will appear here.

* Couple other things from this one, a 3-2 Yankees' win.

- In the first inning I called Chase Headley 'Chase Headwey', so on this site he will now always be referred to as Chase Headwey.

- Let's welcome to the Webb Bobo All Stars umpire Fieldin Culbreth.

Games 247 & 248 - Tampa Bay Rays at New York Yankees

September 5/6 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

Early Saturday afternoon first pitch after a night game/long night for me, we're going Mute mix.

As always, these are actual albums/tracks that were played on actual tape players.


Since we're on the subject of muting things, I will say this about the YES crew and in particular, play-by-play fella Michael Kay:

I have not been horrified at the things Michael Kay has said this year. In fact, I have very nearly not noticed Michael Kay. In fact, I may be baking some Michael Kaykes in my (neighbor's) kitchen right now.


Houses of the Holy - Led Zeppelin

* I'd like to take this brief moment to say goodbye to an old friend. We officially lost my Houses of the Holy tape early today at the age of 42. He lived a good life & he's survived by his lovely wife Maryanne and their two kids, currently unnamed.

The tape played one final side and then made some gurgling sounds before passing.

Appalachian Memories - various artists
Sailing to Denver - Sailing to Denver
Various tracks - COLOR
Blood, Sweat & Beers - Bastard Suns
Random live tracks - Radiohead
When She Flies - Dolly Parton
Cumberland Records - sampler
Surround Sounds - The Chief
Funky Monkey - The Technician
Bluegrass Sessions - Bela Fleck

Game 115 - Baltimore Orioles at New York Yankees

May 10 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

I've heard a number of people ask the question "do the Yankees have an ace? And if so, who is it?" Reporters even ask manager Joe Girardi, "Joe, who is the ace of the rotation?"

Let me take this one, Joe:

1. Who cares?

2. It's Michael Pineda.

And when Pineda has his great slider going, outings like Sunday are possible. The big righty struck out a career-high 16 batters in a fantastic seven innings as New York won the game 6-2 and three of four in the series.

Pineda didn't walk anyone, becoming the first pitcher to strike out 16 batters and not walk anyone since Johan Santana in 2007. His ERA dropped to 2.72 and he's walked four batters in seven starts (46 1/3 IP). Other than a J.J. Hardy solo home run in the second, Pineda was phenomenal.

Bottom of the New York order: currently alive

I was going to say the Yankees have so far gotten Mike Gallego and Andy Stankiewicz-level offensive production from their middle infield until I realized that was being really unkind to Mike Gallego and Andy Stankiewicz.

Stephen Drew and Didi Gregorius came into the day hitting a combined .195 (34-for-174), but Gregorius delivered a pair of run-scoring hits out of the No. 9 spot and No. 8 hitter Drew had a hit and walked twice. Solo home runs from Carlos Beltran and Brian McCann also helped back Pineda.

Baseball Phrases

Michael Kay never/always disappoints

"The pitch count monster"
"Exit stage right"
"That was right down Beltran Boulevard"
"Exit velo"

Also, "pink bat" was said eight times by Kay, Paul O'Neill & Ken Singleton.

Game 101 - Tampa Bay Rays at New York Yankees

April 27 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

It was a surprisingly light night for Michael Kay Nonsense (MKN), though obviously as Andrew Miller was about to come into the game in the ninth Kay said "it's Miller Time". But I did want to point out one item from the broadcast.

YES has its SCOUTING REPORTS of each starting pitcher, and here was Adam Warren's:

1. "Run Support". Then Ken Singleton mentioned how Warren received a ton of run support the last time he pitched, which was last Wednesday against the Tigers.

2. "Taking care of business". Singleton then talked about how Warren has a degree in business from the University of North Carolina and the Yankees would like Warren to take care of business.

3. "'Heeling' power". This was simply about Warren winning his first 19 decisions at UNC.

This isn't a SCOUTING REPORT. This is Facts About Adam Warren.

I put together a new scouting report of Warren:

1. "Walk this way". Warren walked four batters in his last start.

2. "Garbage disposal". One of Warren's chores as a child was to do the dishes and put the uneaten food into the garbage disposal and the Yankees are hoping he disposes of tonight's opponent.

3. "Montana man". Warren once visited the state of Montana.

* The New York bullpen has been fantastic so far in 2015 and that continued Monday. It was the best of Warren's seven career starts (5 2/3 IP, 5 H, career-high 6 K), but the right-hander left with the game tied 1-1. Justin Wilson (one perfect inning to pick up the win), David Carpenter (1/3 IP, 1 BB), Dellin Betances (1 IP, 2 K) and Miller (1 IP, 1 H, 1 K) combined for 3 1/3 scoreless in a 4-1 victory.

* Brian McCann ripped a go-ahead, solo home run to right that put New York ahead 2-1 in the sixth. It was McCann's second home run and first since April 12 against Boston.

Nicknames that aren't really nicknames

Tropicana Field - "The Trop"

Game 97 - New York Mets at New York Yankees

April 24 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

I was going to make this more of a eulogy to Carlos Beltran's offensive skills; how they've passed on to a better place and how we should remember the good at bats. But too many good things are happening with the Yankees lately.

1. Mark Teixeira's ability to drive the ball appears to be fully back.

Teixeira was one of the team's top run producers from 2009-2012, but wrist injuries drained his power and really seemed to make his baseball life miserable. It's only April 24, but Teixeira has a .673 slugging percentage and 11 of his 12 hits have gone for extra bases, including his 6th and 7th home runs, both towering, two-run shots off Mets' starter Jacob deGrom in a 6-1 win.

Another thing that is back is my ability to type Teixeira without misspelling it three times and then checking Baseball Reference for the correct spelling and then still misspelling it. I need a Mark Teixeira poster on the wall so I can just refer to it whenever I need to.

2. Michael Pineda is quite good.

It's an odd thing to look at the Yankees' starting rotation and see three pitchers 26-years old or younger (Pineda, Masahiro Tanaka and Nathan Eovaldi) and they're actually good pitchers (my apologies to Jeff Johnson, Wade Taylor and Dave Eiland). Pineda may be the best of the bunch. He probably had his best start as a Yankee on Friday (7 2/3 IP, 1 ER), mixing in a filthy slider with his usual good fast ball and a change up that seems to get better each start.

3. The Jacoby Ellsbury/Brett Gardner tandem at the top of the order has the potential to be really, really good.

For this team, Ellsbury is the perfect lead off hitter and I think Gardner is the perfect No. 2 hitter. I really wouldn't want either of them in any other spot in the lineup.

If they continue their hot starts (Ellsbury has a .294 AVG and .395 OBP after a 2-for-5 night and Gardner's at .304/.396 after his two-hit night), there should be plenty of opportunities to drive in runs for Teixeira, Alex Rodriguez and Brian McCann as soon as I finish my time machine and travel back to 2010 and bring Brian McCann back with me to 2015.

Michael Kay: I don't like listening to you speak

It wouldn't be a Yankees broadcast on the YES Network without Kay making me long for the days of Phil Rizzuto talking about cannolis and the bridge and his wife, Cora. Those were simpler times; Kayless times.

Kay not only said "Subway Series" 11 times, but also:

"Just a tour de force for Ellsbury"
"The flags are flopping every which way"
"Injuries have really bedeviled him the last couple years"
"Buzzworthy"
"Shell-shocked"
"That says something about the stomach of this team"
"Major League debut on the Broadway stage"
"It gives it a little sexiness"
"That ball's ticketed for the right field corner"
"Wheeling and dealing"
"Pushed the envelope"
"Baptism by fire"

I can't begin to describe the euphoric feeling I get when Yankee games end and Michael Kay leaves me alone for the rest of the night.

Game 92 - New York Yankees at Detroit Tigers

April 21 at Comerica Park in Detroit, MI
YES Network

Chris Young is considered the Yankees' fourth outfielder, but through the first two weeks of the season he's been their best. Young was a triple short of the cycle Tuesday, which included his fourth home run in a 5-2 New York win. He's put together a .344/.432/.844 line so far and is tied with three others for the team-lead in home runs. Here is that list:

- Young - back up outfielder
- Stephen Drew - Stephen Drew!
- Alex Rodriguez - had played 44 games from 2013-2014
- Mark Teixeira - wrist could detach from his body at any moment

Speaking of power, if you locate Carlos Beltran and Brian McCann's, please return it to the New York Yankees, Bronx, NY, United States of America.

Nathan Eovaldi was a bright spot as well Tuesday, holding the excellent Detroit offense to just one run in seven innings. Kyle Lobstein allowed one run in six innings, then the Tigers' bullpen was extremely helpful as four relievers combined to allow three earned runs over the final three innings.

Michael Kay

Any Worst Play by Play Announcers in Baseball competitions you hear about, let me know. I've got an entry.

"Glove was a many splendored thing"
"Let's do it here in Motown"
"Loud out"
"Pecking order"
"Ribbie"
"Electric stuff"
"They've got some hitters in the pipeline"
"Flashed the leather"

And let's not forget about Paul O'Neill

"There are pitchers that are pitchers"
"You need to put runs in the run column"
"Smarter than the average bear"
"Got the bat head out"

Game 62 - Toronto Bluejays at New York Yankees

April 6 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
Yes Network

The season doesn't really open for me until the Yankees play their first game, but I now would pay as much as 75 poppy seeds to just go back to Monday morning before this game began.

Masahiro Tanaka started the third by giving up a hard single down the left field line to No. 8 hitter Kevin Pillar and walking No. 9 hitter Devon Travis. Those turned out to be the enjoyable parts of the inning. Jose Reyes tried to provide a free out, but the Yankees said "no thank you," and Chase Headley threw Reyes' bunt attempt past first base. That scored the first run of the game, and former Yankee Russell Martin poked a two-run single to the opposite field for a three-run cushion. Tanaka gave Edwin Encarnacion a fast ball right down the middle and Encarnacion, who hit 112 home runs over the previous three seasons, belted a two-run shot to left for a 5-0 lead.

Drew Hutchison made the start for Toronto and except for a solo home run by Brett Gardner in the sixth looked good in six innings of three-hit ball as the visitors won 6-1.

Alex is back

Alex Rodriguez made his return to baseball Monday after a one-season suspension and looked fine at the plate, which was really nice to see. It was just one game, but he along with Brett Gardner looked the best at the plate for New York. Rodriguez drew a lead off walk in the third, then had an opposite field single into the right-center field gap to start the fifth, though he never set foot off first base either time. And by that I mean the hitters behind him went 0-for-6 and I don't think he took a lead. Rodriguez has a decent chance of ending the season with less than 20 feet of combined lead off first.

Rodriguez also had a well-hit ball into the right-center field gap in the seventh that was tracked down by Jose Bautista, who had eight put outs in right.

The only problem with having Rodriguez back is that I have to hear YES announcer Michael Kay pronounce his name. It may be the only pronunciation of the man's name of its kind in all of baseball/the universe:

"Alex ROGG-REE-GIS"

This will almost certainly be a theme every time I watch the Yankees on YES. Here's the first of many Kay Baseball Phrases.

"Straight from central casting"
"Baseball gods"
"The biggest stage in baseball...opening on Broadway"
"You realize you have more career in the rear view mirror than in the windshield"
"Screaming line drive"
"Started off gang busters"

And one from Ken Singleton:

"Ron Karkovice, his nickname was 'Officer Karkovice' because he could catch you stealing"

Scouting reports?

Before the top of the first, YES had what they referred to as a "scouting report", but it actually contained things like this:

* Tanaka set the Japanese high school strike out record

That's not a scouting report. That's a Thing We Know About Masahiro Tanaka.