Game 283 - Chicago Whitesox at New York Yankees

September 24 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

Let's start with another ridiculous YES scouting report:

* Chicago's been having trouble scoring runs? OK. That's fine.
* They are 5-15 all-time at the new Yankee Stadium? Alright, that's more a fact, but still, it just means the scouting report on the Whitesox is they aren't very good in NY.
* The franchise just won its 9,000th game? NOT EVEN CLOSE TO A SCOUTING REPORT.

Hope

Here's something Michael Kay said in the second inning:

"I hope that a lot of kids still play Strat-O-Matic."

The last time Michael Kay met a kid must've been in 1988 because there's no other reason for him to say something that absurd.

And maybe a few kids play Strat-O-Matic, meaning 17.

A LOT?!

Starting Friday, September 25 I'm going to ask as many kids as I can if they've ever heard of Strat-O-Matic. My findings will appear here.

* Couple other things from this one, a 3-2 Yankees' win.

- In the first inning I called Chase Headley 'Chase Headwey', so on this site he will now always be referred to as Chase Headwey.

- Let's welcome to the Webb Bobo All Stars umpire Fieldin Culbreth.

Game 101 - Tampa Bay Rays at New York Yankees

April 27 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
YES Network

It was a surprisingly light night for Michael Kay Nonsense (MKN), though obviously as Andrew Miller was about to come into the game in the ninth Kay said "it's Miller Time". But I did want to point out one item from the broadcast.

YES has its SCOUTING REPORTS of each starting pitcher, and here was Adam Warren's:

1. "Run Support". Then Ken Singleton mentioned how Warren received a ton of run support the last time he pitched, which was last Wednesday against the Tigers.

2. "Taking care of business". Singleton then talked about how Warren has a degree in business from the University of North Carolina and the Yankees would like Warren to take care of business.

3. "'Heeling' power". This was simply about Warren winning his first 19 decisions at UNC.

This isn't a SCOUTING REPORT. This is Facts About Adam Warren.

I put together a new scouting report of Warren:

1. "Walk this way". Warren walked four batters in his last start.

2. "Garbage disposal". One of Warren's chores as a child was to do the dishes and put the uneaten food into the garbage disposal and the Yankees are hoping he disposes of tonight's opponent.

3. "Montana man". Warren once visited the state of Montana.

* The New York bullpen has been fantastic so far in 2015 and that continued Monday. It was the best of Warren's seven career starts (5 2/3 IP, 5 H, career-high 6 K), but the right-hander left with the game tied 1-1. Justin Wilson (one perfect inning to pick up the win), David Carpenter (1/3 IP, 1 BB), Dellin Betances (1 IP, 2 K) and Miller (1 IP, 1 H, 1 K) combined for 3 1/3 scoreless in a 4-1 victory.

* Brian McCann ripped a go-ahead, solo home run to right that put New York ahead 2-1 in the sixth. It was McCann's second home run and first since April 12 against Boston.

Nicknames that aren't really nicknames

Tropicana Field - "The Trop"

Game 95 - Miami Marlins at Philadelphia Phillies

April 23 at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, PA
Comcast Sports Net

Let's start with a pair of graphics provided by the broadcast team during the first inning.

1. Keys to the game

For some reason, this makes me not want to ever drive a Nissan.

2. But where did he go to college?

Fastball velocity, OK. What kind of pitches does he throw? Sounds good, I like it.......ATTENDED UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME?!

That isn't a scouting report. That's a four-second internet search.

Phelps was able to rise above his scouting report and toss seven scoreless innings in Miami's 9-1 win. The right-hander, who was filling in for the injured Henderson Alvarez, retired 17 of the last 19 batters he faced. It helped that Philadelphia had a lineup that included Jeff Francoeur as the cleanup hitter, but Phelps still pitched really well. I watched him for three years as a Yankee reliever/sometimes starter and he never was able to fully reach his potential. He's only 28, so maybe he'll reach it with the Marlins.

* Couple quick Baseball Phrases from play-by-play man Tom McCarthy:

"Business person's special"
"He's stepping into the proverbial bucket"
"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"
"Heat-seeking missile"

Game 62 - Toronto Bluejays at New York Yankees

April 6 at Yankee Stadium in Bronx, NY
Yes Network

The season doesn't really open for me until the Yankees play their first game, but I now would pay as much as 75 poppy seeds to just go back to Monday morning before this game began.

Masahiro Tanaka started the third by giving up a hard single down the left field line to No. 8 hitter Kevin Pillar and walking No. 9 hitter Devon Travis. Those turned out to be the enjoyable parts of the inning. Jose Reyes tried to provide a free out, but the Yankees said "no thank you," and Chase Headley threw Reyes' bunt attempt past first base. That scored the first run of the game, and former Yankee Russell Martin poked a two-run single to the opposite field for a three-run cushion. Tanaka gave Edwin Encarnacion a fast ball right down the middle and Encarnacion, who hit 112 home runs over the previous three seasons, belted a two-run shot to left for a 5-0 lead.

Drew Hutchison made the start for Toronto and except for a solo home run by Brett Gardner in the sixth looked good in six innings of three-hit ball as the visitors won 6-1.

Alex is back

Alex Rodriguez made his return to baseball Monday after a one-season suspension and looked fine at the plate, which was really nice to see. It was just one game, but he along with Brett Gardner looked the best at the plate for New York. Rodriguez drew a lead off walk in the third, then had an opposite field single into the right-center field gap to start the fifth, though he never set foot off first base either time. And by that I mean the hitters behind him went 0-for-6 and I don't think he took a lead. Rodriguez has a decent chance of ending the season with less than 20 feet of combined lead off first.

Rodriguez also had a well-hit ball into the right-center field gap in the seventh that was tracked down by Jose Bautista, who had eight put outs in right.

The only problem with having Rodriguez back is that I have to hear YES announcer Michael Kay pronounce his name. It may be the only pronunciation of the man's name of its kind in all of baseball/the universe:

"Alex ROGG-REE-GIS"

This will almost certainly be a theme every time I watch the Yankees on YES. Here's the first of many Kay Baseball Phrases.

"Straight from central casting"
"Baseball gods"
"The biggest stage in baseball...opening on Broadway"
"You realize you have more career in the rear view mirror than in the windshield"
"Screaming line drive"
"Started off gang busters"

And one from Ken Singleton:

"Ron Karkovice, his nickname was 'Officer Karkovice' because he could catch you stealing"

Scouting reports?

Before the top of the first, YES had what they referred to as a "scouting report", but it actually contained things like this:

* Tanaka set the Japanese high school strike out record

That's not a scouting report. That's a Thing We Know About Masahiro Tanaka.